Jokes - Lets share a smile

[Invisible]

 

A little boy went up to his mother and asked, "Mom, where did my intelligence come from?" The mother replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your father, cause I still have mine."

 

[Invisible]

 

Q. What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

A. About three pounds, including the urn.

 

[Invisible]

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

 

[Aurora]

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

 

soooooooooooo true 

[Invisible]

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?

A. Trustworthy

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A. Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

 

[Invisible]

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best
to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who
knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to
Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty..
You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always
late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be
something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of20an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser
asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one
of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped
us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a
handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling
job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were
overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know
you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet
some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private
room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who messed up your hair?"