Bar Jokes

[cashnet]

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."

The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

"Just rub toilet paper between them."

Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"

"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

[cashnet]

A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."

The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.

He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."

[cashnet]

A man enters into a bar, and the waiter comes and asks him "What do you want to drink sir?" The customer points out to a guy laying on the floor and replies "Whatever that guy was drinking."

[MIDOMIDO419]

hhhhhhh

[Pinay]

An Irishman walks past a bar.

[ariefhs]

Quoted from Fallout 3:
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink here?". The bartender replies, "For you, Sir? No charge!"